Funny One Liners For Him

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4 Aug, 2022

24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties These corny jokes are guaranteed to get the crowd laughing with or at you. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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That says a lot.

. Honesty may be the best policy but its important to remember that apparently by elimination dishonesty is the second-best policy. I swear to drunk Im not God but seriously stay in drugs eat school and dont do vegetables. If you are looking for funny single liners youve come to the right place.

So check this list of funny men one lines and enjoy. I know what most of you are thinking. She didnt show up.

Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him. Thats when I knew we werent gonna work out. Youll just have to learn to be a little patient If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring.

I love this one liner. They say money talks but mine can only say goodbye. Starbucks says they are.

People tell me Im condescending. I cant believe no one has managed to come up with a cure for. An apple a day keeps the doctor away but an onion a day keeps everyone away.

But all mine ever says is goodbye. 8905 139 votes. Funny One Liners for Husband.

Ad Browse discover thousands of brands. Your name must be Coca Cola because youre so-da-licious. Beverly Jenkins is a humor and pop culture writer.

Top 100 funniest one-liners. Others whenever they go. I asked her why she drew the eyebrows that high and she seems surprised.

Thats a bit of a stretch I dont have a girlfriend. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. PMS jokes are not funny period.

If he hurts you cry a river and then drown him in it. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. Leans in real close That means I talk down to people.

There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups 14. I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail but apparently you cant end a sentence with a proposition. Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs theyre always taking things literally.

I was gonna tell a time travelling joke but you guys didnt like it. I love you more than pizza and thats saying a lot. Its pretty cute until it poops on your head Im skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. I am originally from Indiana.

If everything seems to be coming your way youre probably in the wrong lane. Brains are wonderful I wish everyone had one. Some cause happiness wherever they go.

3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Read customer reviews find best sellers. Memes Holiday Humor By.

Clean One Liner Jokes. Top 100 Funny Jokes Hilarious Jokes New Jokes Dark Humor One-Liners Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Funny Riddles Best Puns Knock Knock Jokes Bad Jokes Marriage Jokes Dad Jokes Good Jokes More Awesome Jokes. Share PINTEREST Email Print Via Getty ImagesThomas Barwick.

She has published three web humor books and six. Scoopify collected some of the funniest single liners. A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor You have to help me I think Im shrinking Now settle down the doctor calmly told him.

We repeat the line One liner a day keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went then it dawned on me. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner all it was doing was gathering dust.

With you I can be myself. In other words every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat. Even if youre feeling nervous and jittery you should try to calm down and relax.

I have never understood why women love cats. Best One Liners. Your hand fits in.

1 I asked God for a bike but I know God doesnt work that way. A computer once beat me at chess. 8253 1292 votes.

Here are some funny one liners to help you out. Funny One Liners. Ad These silly jokes are easy to remember and play well to any audience.

11 Clean One Liner Jokes. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. By Ramon March 22 2010.

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad Lifes like a bird. Turns out good players are hard to find. Youre so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.

I have an inferiority complex but its not a very good one. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. But all mine ever says is goodbye Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. If you cant seem to remember pick-up lines an option like this works well.

Proof that we dont understand death is that we give dead people a pillow. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. Cats are independent they dont listen they dont come in when you call they like to stay out all night and when theyre home they like to be left alone and sleep.

For instance its awkward to say your pick-up line when youre in the mall or office but its alright if youre at a bar or cocktail party where the ambiance is friendlier and more cozy. Without further ado here are 10 Knock Knock Jokes to add to your repertoire. Your smile must be a black hole nothing can escape its pull.

Where theres a will theres a relative. Our most popular categories.

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